This course is just stressing me out. It's the same course that I failed an assignment for. This course should be easy. All the content in it is so incredibly basic. None of this is new to me, and it all makes sense.
But for some reason, every time I even see the course code on my whiteboard, I freak out and start to feel that familiar feeling drift over me.
Maybe it's because I failed. Or maybe there's another reason. I mean, it is written in orange, which is one of my least favourite colours. But that seems too superficial to be creating an anxiety trigger. Perhaps I'm over-worked and just need a break. But the thought of taking a break from uni is even more stressful - after all, if I take a break now with my many assignments already starting to pile up, when I am finished my break, it'll be an even bigger problem with even less time to fix it.
I honestly can't wait for uni break, but that's in June. Oh, only two months away, sure, but that just emphasises my lack of time.
I should probably be working on it now instead of typing here, but my brain is refusing to take in any more information. I can't focus on my assignments, and I certainly can't focus on that course. Unfortunately, the next assignment that I have due is for that course. And that is in less than a week and a half away.
Certainly, I'm going to have to get it done. I can't afford to not do it, because I don't think I'll be able to pass the course without it! But part of me is just wanting to give up. Part of me feels like it's all too much, like I am never going to be any good at it. Oh, I was amazingly brilliant at everything in school, especially primary school, but university is a completely different game, and one that I cannot seem to work out the rules for.
No matter. For now, I need to pack up anyway. It's all too much for me, and I need to be awake again in just over seven hours so I can get to work.
~SA
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